Healing After a Breakup
Healing after a breakup can be difficult. Often times, you internalize the pain of the separation and the sadness that a chapter has ended. You may find yourself replaying the months and years of the relationship trying to figure out where you went wrong or where there was a shift. While it’s important to reflect and consider things that you may be able to do differently in the future—that shouldn’t be your primary focus. It is important that you heal during a transition after being in a relationship back to your singleness.
When my ex and I first began to truly consider divorce, there were a lot of stages of emotions. It’s almost like you’re grieving because you realize that the relationship is dead, at least romantically. I went through all the stages of grief: denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. You may experience this too. It was important for me during the depression stage that I didn’t let it overtake me. I allowed myself to feel those emotions but I didn’t sit in it too long. I found myself starting my healing during this time, and honestly, it’s what helped me move into the acceptance phase.
You may not know how to heal yourself, especially from the conclusion of a relationship but here are some actions that really helped motivate me spiritually and energetically to heal.
Rediscover Yourself
Whether intentional or not, you may find that you’ve lost pieces of you during your relationship. There may be things that you used to do or enjoy that you’ve dismissed or lost because your focus shifted. I spent time considering this and rediscovered things I felt that were missing from me and my life, and made a point to reintroduce them.
Find New Joy
During the duration of your relationship, you’ve grown and changed. Regardless of what you may believe, you aren’t the same person you were a year or two ago. There are new things that spark joy for you—some you may have found and others are waiting to be discovered. Embrace that discovery and seek even the smallest things that bring happiness to you. For me, I’ve truly grown such a love for incense and I keep them in my home faithfully and burn daily.
Embrace Your Singleness
This was probably the easiest and hardest thing for me to do. I was excited to create a new peace with myself and go off to enjoy things that were based around my desire. However, I was also sad when doing things that we would normally do together. Sometimes I found myself forcing me to go places that we frequented alone, although I loved the place and knew I would enjoy it. I truly had to learn to love those same places and activities alone. It may not be easy but it’s possible.
These are just three ways that I’ve taken steps to heal myself and start to enjoy life with me, myself and I. Moving on is possible and you can do it happily. Don’t spend time beating up yourself for what was and what could have been because that’s not the reality of now. Instead, focus on the life you’re about to move forward and have. Manifest it and make it your own because you deserve it.
If you’re interested in deep diving work like this, you should check out my Healing Journal!