Sometimes I’m a Bad Friend, but not on Purpose

Many people who don’t know this about me, but I’m an introvert. Growing up, I was really shy and would barely speak or do anything out the box. I have evolved from that little girl, but when I meet people for the first few times, I’m very much an introvert and to myself. However, once we know each other, I’m pretty outgoing and goofy. It’s like night and day.

I’ve learned as I continue to grow, that being an introvert doesn’t just impact when you meet new people, it can impact your current relationships as well. I often find myself pretty secluded from the world for various reasons; work, family or just flat out want to be alone. There’s nothing wrong with that, but it can harm your relationships with people.

I’ve noticed that this and a few other things may be changing my relationships with people or how they interact with me. So I wanted to tell them, if these things make me a bad friend, it’s not on purpose.

ENTREPRENEUR LIFE IS A DAILY GRIND

Many people are attracted entrepreneurship because you are your own boss, make your own hours and can basically do what you want. While those things are true, every minute you waste during your workday is money and opportunities missed as well. So often times, since I’m in the beginning of this journey, I work day in and day out because these bills don’t pay themselves. My friends may not hear from me for days, or unless they message or call me first. It’s not personal, it’s just me grinding.

MARRIED LIFE DOESN’T MEAN I CAN’T HANG

Sure, there are days that I would prefer to snuggle and cuddle with my husband all day. Especially since our time alone can be limited because he still works full-time, does photo shoots on the weekends and I host events on weekends as well. This doesn’t include visiting any family or personal alone time without each other. So although I work from home, we don’t spend as much time together as people may think. Sure I love hanging with him when I can [as I should]. However, I know some of my friends purposely don’t invite me places because I’m married and some have literally said that.

While I think there are some places that aren’t totally appropriate for me to go, I’d love to get a drink, go to dinner, movies, fair, karaoke and the list goes on. There are plenty of things that aren’t relationship status affiliated, but I think some people believe your social life ends once you’re married. We are still individuals, even as one. Maybe I could take more initiative planning outings. I’m not the friend that invites myself places, and maybe I should, but sometimes this is a hard one.

I DON’T KEEP UP WITH PEOPLE THAT WELL

This is something I don’t remember having a problem with as a teen, but more so as an adult. Your life changes. Schedule changes. Priorities shift. I graduated a year earlier than most of my friends, so I felt this was hard for them to understand at the time. Busy life as a college student is one thing, but busy while adulating is another dinosaur.

It became harder and harder for me to pick up the phone and call friends to chat or catch up day to day. However, once I got settled, I think I became used to this because it didn’t change. I don’t think they take it personally, but I always tell them just because I don’t call every day, or text all the time, doesn’t mean I don’t think of you and love you. I think as they’ve all began to start their careers and get in serious relationships, they finally understand how it can be as well.

I’M NOT REALLY A BAD FRIEND, BUT THERE’S ALWAYS ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT

Although these are areas of improvement, I know I’m not a bad friend. I am so faithful and loyal to my friends. I’m honest and tell them what’s right and good for them, not just what they want to hear. I support them whenever I can, even when I’ve barely had gas to get there [that’s real]. I’ve also given them my last, even when they didn’t know it was, because they needed it. I’m also a great shoulder to cry on and a great, “let’s go do something fun to get over him” friend. So I know that by no means I’m a bad friend, but at times, it’s good to have a self-evaluation and make note of improvements you want to make with yourself and others.

How do you want to improve your friendships?