How to Find The Best Therapist for You
When considering therapy, it is so important to stay encouraged, trust the process and practice patience. Don’t let one bad experience demotivate you. All therapists are different and aren’t one size fits all. Advocate for your mental health just like you would for your physical health. If you two aren’t a good fit, find a new one. If there was an issue between you two, offer feedback and if you all can’t resume with trust, find someone else.
I’ve probably had 8 therapists over the past 10 years for various reasons—moving, insurance coverage or they just weren’t a good fit. That doesn’t bother me. For me, therapy is an essential investment--of time and money. It keeps me well and grounded, even when I’m not actively dealing with a difficult life circumstance.
As I’ve journeyed through therapy, I’ve been able to identify the style of therapy I enjoy and benefit from the most. I tend to shield what’s really happening on the inside. I wear a “strong woman” mask often, even when I’m crumbling inside. I even bring that mask in therapy. So for me, it’s important to have a therapist that will see that, ask the tough questions and really press me to dig deep. I enjoy being able to share and for my therapist to pick up on key themes of habits, thought process or help give me better words to define my transitional spaces in a way that resonates with me. I also know that I enjoy homework that is active and practices in therapy that address the trauma and needs of my younger self. So my therapist often gives me work such as writing letters as my younger self or gaining closure with others by doing empty chair work with her.
During the pandemic, it has been important for me not only to continue therapy but continue it weekly. Although we’ve been seeing each other virtually, I’ve done some of the most meaningful self work and made some key life epiphanies during this time. If you’re having trouble aligning with a therapist or finding one best for you, keep trying! It’s worth it.
Here are a few tips to apply when actively searching for a therapist.
Review their website for tones and methods. On their about page, they’ll often discuss how they approach therapy. That’ll give you a quick understanding if that’s what you’re looking for.
Find out what they specialize in. If you’re seeking support from a specific trauma, life change or transition such as abuse, abandonment, addiction or divorce—their website or therapist profiles on other sites can tell you that.
Request a consultation. Some therapists will have a free, brief consultation over the phone with you to answer questions and learn more about their style before setting up an appointment.
If you’re seeking a black therapist specifically, you can learn more at @blackfemaletherapists, @melaninandmentalhealth & @therapyforblackgirls. You can also search for therapists on Psychology Today, which allows you to search in your city and filter by coverage needs and specialty.
I wish you the best on this journey and hope this helps. Please share to encourage your loved ones to keep going as well.